On
Thursday, our yoga chat group was abuzz with news from friends getting vaccinated.
I asked what brand they were given and was appalled to learn it was Sinovac, one
of those that my family and I have decided against. Only one friend in that
group shared my apprehensions. Later, another friend from my LG (my caring group)
posted she too had gotten her vaccine. She received a text message just that
day about her schedule. I got worried. What will I do if I get my notification?
I don’t want that brand, but the situation is terrifying.
We
were about to end our family rosary last night when my phone text alert went
off. It was a message from eZConsult informing me I was scheduled to receive my
COVID 19 vaccine. My immediate reaction was, “Oh my God!” I was torn!
Why
torn?
First,
I had been praying daily for the best protection from this dreaded virus for
myself, my family, my relatives and friends, family and friends of family and
friends, for my countrymen and for the whole world.
Second,
my sister-in-law, a doctor, had just posted an article in our family chat group
there are vaccines that will be accepted for travel to Europe, and it
specifically mentioned Sinovac was NOT among those.
Third
was the timing. It came while we were praying. Was this low efficacy vaccine the
best answer to my prayer?
Fourth,
we don’t know when the acceptable brands will be coming in. Do I take the risk of losing my slot?
I
consulted by best friend/cousin Belle. She was leaning on my side of not
getting it but wouldn’t give me that definite push as she said it was my
decision. Myrna and Emy from my LG, on the other hand, gave valid points on why
we should not pass up this chance. Torn was a mild term to describe my
feelings. Finally, I asked my son Jaffy who gave a flat NO! We will wait for a
more acceptable brand. That settled it. After that, I felt calm.
But
when I woke up this morning, there was this niggling doubt again. Then, I
realized I had considered everybody’s opinion but did not seek the counsel of
the one being who knows everything and is in control, my God. Although I pray
to Him many times every day, I did not really “sit and talk” with Him about
this. I begged Him to show me clearly what I had to do and let me know if I was
making the right decision. I also asked Him to be as clear as He was during our
conversation when Papa was in the ER. I quieted my mind as best I could so I
could hear Him, but He was like the wind. I only got wafts of thoughts that I
wasn’t sure came from Him…
…Every
person has a different faith journey. What was given to my friends may not be
the same for me.
…The
timing of the notification is sort of a test. Is this what I really want?
What
I was assured of clearly though was His protection. As I was praying, I was led
to the worship song Still. The lyrics “Hide me now under your wings”
were an affirmation of His promise in Psalm 91: “He will cover you with his
feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.” I was reminded that
despite the heavy exposure to COVID patients for 5 days while Papa was in the
ER last year, our whole family was spared.
During
mass, God finally set my mind at peace. Fr. Dave’s homily answered the
remaining doubts and confirmed the wafts of thoughts I had been given:
·
“God
will satisfy you, grant you abundance ACCORDING to your needs, not your wants.”
Myrna
had lost a brother-in-law to COVID and her niece and her family are currently
suffering from it. Emy has comorbidities. Both need the assurance of protection
from any vaccine.
I
need another brand that will be accepted in Europe. Why?
Because
my son works there, and I would like to be able to visit him.
Because
before the pandemic struck, I had agreed to join Belle in We Fly, her travel
business. We were all set to rent an office and launch our website, but our
plans were delayed. We claim that we will be organizing pilgrimages to Europe
among other places once the world opens.
Because
I have included 2 more places in my bucket list that I read about while preparing
for my consecration to St. Joseph: Loreto, where angels have transported, or
rather translated, the house of the Holy Family from Nazareth, and Perugia,
where the Santo Anello or the “holy ring” that St. Joseph gave to Mary
on their wedding is kept in a cathedral there. Both are in Italy, in Europe of
course.
·
“Before
you are put to the test, God already knows the answer.”
So,
the timing was really a test. If the notification had come at another time, I would
have easily dismissed it as I already knew I wanted another brand. But the
timing made me run to God to delve deeper into what He wants for me.
And
so, I will be still while I wait, for I know He is God.
