Holyween: Be-a-Saint March

“…because God tested them and found them worthy to be with him.”

– Wisdom 3:4-5

 

To counter the pagan influence of Halloween, our church invited children to dress up as their favorite saints. After the children’s mass, they paraded and were given treats along the route. No ghoulish costumes. No glorification of evil. Our parish priest encouraged the children to think about what is admirable in the saints they chose. It is perhaps in the hope that they will emulate these saints’ traits.

Looking at the photos posted by the parish (just check these out in the Our Lady of Fatima Parish’s FB page as I didn’t have time to get permission to repost) there were a lot of children who participated. I hope this catches on, after all, everyone is encouraged to be a saint.

I’m sure a lot of you like me will turn beet red and say, “What? Me, a saint? I sin too much to be one. I’ll never be a saint.” But I came across this quote, actually several variations of them as they were attributed to different people like Robert Louis Stevenson, St. Teresa of Calcutta, Nelson Mandela, and St. Josemaria Escriva:

 

“A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.”

 

So, let’s keep trying, one baby step at a time. Let’s think of it as a marathon march, not a 100-meter dash.

There are some steps we can do when we backslide or stray from the path. Let’s try this together as I’m sure failure to be holy will happen to me and to you:

• Accept that there are days when you can’t be as good as you should be.
• But remember what caused you to be unholy and resolve to do better.
• Try again. If we fail today, there’s always tomorrow.
• When you feel the itch to do wrong, breathe, pause, and think WWJD (What Would Jesus Do).

It’s hard I know! I’ve failed many (x 100) times but, again, let’s keep trying. And if we do make it to sainthood, what do you think you’ll be the patron saint of? I’ll probably be the patron saint of Clueless Solo Moms or Young Once Struggling to be Fit and Wrinkle-free.

Belated Happy Holyween! 

P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens

 

“…he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.”

– Luke 11:8

You know that proverb “The squeaky wheel gets the grease”? Well, that’s how I am with the Lord sometimes. When I am on frustration overload due to an oft-repeated unanswered prayer, or super-stressed because of a problem that needs an immediate solution or going through a particularly painful episode with some ailment or other, I turn into a squeaky wheel. I picture myself as a terrible toddler throwing a tantrum in front of the Lord. “Thy will be done” gets thrown out of the window. Do you do that sometimes?

In yesterday’s mass, Fr. James Gascon, SJ, had these elements to impart about prayer and persistence:

"The Gospel speaks about the person who prays. The Lord reminds them to be persistent. Sa kakulitan they get what they get. Jesus reminds His disciples to never give up.

It is a reminder to whom we pray – the father is a good father who will give us whatever we ask in persistence. However, the difficult question is: if the father knows everything why do we have to keep asking/repeating?

 The Lord gives not what we ask for but what is best for us. More than that God will give the Holy Spirit – “How much more will the Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask.” (Luke 11:13) The fruit of prayer is not that we get what we want or need but we are given the power to discern. When we keep praying and praying, we get enlightened and know the difference between a want and a need. That is what God gives us, the gift of discernment – a powerful tool that not only helps us distinguish good from bad but want from need. And most importantly, the Holy Spirit enlightens us that God may have already answered our prayer not the way we want but the way God makes us good. It helps us not to just distinguish but listen. When we do, we ourselves become the instrument to make our prayer a reality. The end of discernment is action."

So, pray until something happens. What “happens” may not always be what we want but what we need. It may be a need for us to act on our problem.

OR, as has happened in my case several times, the Lord gives in to my kakulitan. I remember my LG head Myrna once told me in our chat, “Help me pray. Malakas ka naman kay Lord.” I replied, “Makulit lang.”

So, whatever may be the fruit of our prayers, let’s persist because God will give the best.

BTB (Behind the Blog)

 

“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?”- 1 Thessalonians 3:9

 

If there’s such a thing as BTS (sorry faneys, not the Korean boy band but Behind the Scene), I have today a BTB (Behind the Blog). Last week, my reflection was “Sharing Crosses”. They were general thoughts based on the homily that struck me that day. Little did I know that the very next day, as I posted it, I would have a specific story to tell of my cross being shared.

 

Last week, covid hit my family, all three of us at home. It would not have been as scary as at the start of the pandemic because as my doctor-cousin said, “It’s more like the flu now. BUT (and there’s the rub) it could still be fatal for people whose health is compromised like Papa.” My 92-year-old father was the last in the family to be hit. My son and I were barely recuperating when he tested positive. It was panic time! We need a prescription for the anti-viral medicine as my cousin is US-based. We need to source the medicine as it is not readily available. Plus none of us could go out to buy it as we were still sick. I shared my cross and asked for prayers.

 

And the Lord moved right away! My prayer group head jumped in to help by finding a doctor to write the prescription. She even tried to find other doctors to monitor Papa. A doctor who serves at The Feast wrote the prescription and even offered a few pieces of the needed medicine she had left over from her own bout with covid. And my kababata/distant cousin found a source for the medicine and delivered it right to our gate.

 

Not only that, but we were also immediately lifted up in prayer by my bff/cousin, my Mother Caring Group/LG, my EBLG, and HIP friends. What an abundance of friends to share my cross!

 

Like I told them, “I thank God for you.”

 

Let me end this BTB by repeating my message last week: Crosses are meant to be shared.

 

Oh and by the way, by God’s grace, Papa had the mildest of symptoms as he was the only one who did not have fever. And our whole household is now negative including Papa’s yaya. That was God working Behind The Scene. 

Sharing Crosses

 

“He humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.” – Philippians 2:8

 

“Do you envy others because their crosses are lighter than yours?” This was the question asked by the priest in yesterday’s mass celebrating the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. I nodded my head again and again and again in agreement giving those bobble head dashboard dogs a run for their money.

 

Do you also feel that way once in a while, sometimes, most of the time? Here you are a solo parent struggling to raise your kids and there are your friends and relatives with their perfectly complete families. Oh they have some problems too: how to get their visas in time for their vacation abroad, where to hold their milestone birthday bashes, things like that. I’m exaggerating but I have heard this complaint from a couple of sisters in HIP (Hero Independent Parents - our Solo Parent Ministry at Feast Bellevue): “Why is that woman (the one who stole her husband) enjoying a better life than me???? She gets the cars, and the house, and the foreign trips while my ex-husband doesn’t even give enough in child support.” Sounds familiar?

 

Heck, I don’t know why the crosses of others are lighter and that pains me often. But what the priest said struck my tear ducts. “Crosses are meant to be shared. Humanity was on a vicious downward spiral until God decided to share our burden, our suffering, our cross. The cross was ours to bear but Jesus carried it for us. Even Jesus needed Simon of Cyrene to carry His cross…Do you find your cross heavy? Have you asked others or even God to share your burden? Or we can ask, ‘What have you done to lift the burdens of so many people around us overwhelmed by the crosses they bear?’” (Fr. Emmanuel Alfonso)

 

So my dear fellow heavy lifters, do not be afraid to ask for help. The main thing that helped me survive solo parenting was the help of my parents, relatives, and friends especially my Feast brothers and sisters. Even the mere act of asking for prayers is already a major step.

 

On the other hand if you have a lighter cross, it is your duty to help carry the cross of your brethren. Sometimes what you think is the least you can do (praying for them or giving time to listen) is what it will take to lift them.

Emergency Novena to Mother Mary

 

“The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.”

– Luke 1:49

“I want to know what to pray for.”

 

These words were spoken by Mother Mary in “The Messengers”, the Christmas 2021 with The Chosen special. The scene was set at the time she was already old and probably near death. She was asking Mary Magdalene how the apostles, who were scattered around the world evangelizing, were doing. Mary, hesitant to burden Mother Mary with the difficulties of the disciples, tried to change the topic. But she was insistent. Our Mother wants to know what to pray for. I believe she has the same concern for us, her children.

 

Today, on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, I give thanks to God for giving us a mother who intercedes for us constantly to her Divine Son. Every time I go into panic mode because of some crisis in my life, she is the one I cling to because I know Jesus cannot say “No” to her. If He won’t listen to me, He will certainly listen to His Mother.

 

I remember reading about Mother Teresa of Calcutta’s Emergency “Flying Novena” to our Lady. I have prayed it ever since when I fear an impending and IMMEDIATE “disaster”. OK, I admit I’m a panicky person so “disaster” would be relative. It has ranged from my son’s delayed connecting flight, to fears someone in the family got Covid, to not having enough to pay BIR’s ridiculously high estate tax, to many other problems in my hiram na buhay. Believe me, I can’t remember a time when this novena failed. Our Mother must be more makulit than I am with her Son.

 

The emergency novena is simply the “Memore” said ten consecutive times. Mother Teresa prayed this when time was of the essence and trouble would already happen before she could finish a nine-day novena. I read that her Missionaries of Charity still pray the novena to this day. (See the complete prayer below.)

 

Going back to that The Chosen episode, Mother Mary asked to see Mary Magdalene so she could bequeath to her the Magnificat. The Canticle of Mary was written down and sent to Luke. On her birthday, I invite you to reflect:

 

What great things has the Lord done for you that, like Mary, you will be inspired to utter a canticle of praise?

 

Happy Birthday Mama Mary!

 

The Memorare

 

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known 
that anyone who fled to thy protection, 
implored thy help, 
or sought thy intercession, 
was left unaided. 
Inspired by this confidence 
I fly unto thee, 
O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. 
To thee do I come, 
before thee I stand, 
sinful and sorrowful. 
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions, 
but in thy mercy hear and answer me. 
Amen.

Questioning God

 

“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” – John 20:29

 

“Why didn’t You heal her when it was in Your power to do so?” This is a heart wrenching question to God from a friend who lost her mother during the pandemic.

 

Do you have questions like that? Do you have questions about your faith? Is it wrong to question God? What do we do when we have doubts? Will God get angry when we doubt?

 

Although Jesus rebuked Thomas for his unbelief, He did not hit him with a lightning bolt in anger. Instead, Jesus appeared to the apostles again that Thomas may see for himself. Jesus accepted Thomas’ humanity to search for answers as He also accepts ours. As the priest said in his homily on the feast of St. Thomas: “Our questions are doors that open to a deeper faith.”

 

When children are small, they ask endless questions. Mine did and it sometimes drove me crazy. It’s a good thing God has all the patience in the world for His children’s questions. He even points us to where we can get answers – the bible, our spiritual leaders, our brothers and sisters in the community, even in His creations. So, ask away. After all, “The ability to ask questions is the greatest resource in learning the truth.” (Carl Jung)

 

On another note, our children accept our answers as Gospel truth even if sometimes they don’t fully comprehend the explanation because they trust us. And this is also the attitude of trust we should take in our questioning. We may not understand what is happening to us. We may not get the answer right away or not even in this lifetime but TRUST in the Lord’s perfect plan.

 

These lines from the song Trust His Heart by Babbie Mason give me assurance when I have questions and doubts: “When you don’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.”

Spirit Over Mind

 

“…the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues…” – Acts 19:6

In my book The Happy Solo Kit (Tools and Supplies You Need to Survive Solo Parenting without Losing Your Marbles), there’s a section I called “Terrible Teens”. Like I said there, teens are more terrible than twos. It is at this stage when children develop their own minds and start thinking they know better than their parents.

It’s very difficult to give them your opinion about how to live their lives because they would always counter with a different take. Always!

But I remember one time when my elder son, then in high school, was heartbroken, and he asked to meet me in front of our church to talk. I wanted to help him but was already half-expecting his usual kontrapelo (going against the grain) reactions. So, on my way to the church, I sent up a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit for wisdom.

Our conversation was going the usual But-Mom-that’s-not-how-it-is way until he asked a difficult question. I didn’t know how to answer, but as I opened my mouth the words just flowed. Surprisingly, he quietly accepted the wisdom I was spouting. I knew then it was the Holy Spirit at work. Those words did not come from me as I felt clueless before I began.

So, Terrible Teens or Terrible Twos or whatever terrible stage our children are in, it always helps to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us in our parenting journey.