Firstborn

 

 

“Blessed is the mother with a good son.” – Me

 

I googled that quote just to make sure I’m not plagiarizing anybody. Although the sentiment is universal for all mothers, I wanted a kinda sorta original one to mark my firstborn’s birthday. (By the way, I’m doubly blessed as I have two of them.)

“Woman, behold your son.” – John 19:26 

The gospel at mass this morning was spot on for Jaffy’s birthday. I felt it was me, in Mary’s place, God was talking to. He is God’s gift. And I praise God every day for the man he has become – godly, kind, loving, considerate, and generous.

And of course handsome 😊

 

But don’t take my word for it. I’m naturally biased. Ask his students and their parents. They just adore him.

 

What made the gospel more appropriate is that Mary was entrusted to John. Jaffy’s real name is Juan Alfredo. It stemmed from my late husband’s sense of humor. Since I had the difficult task of going through labor, I assigned him to think of our firstborn’s name. His name is Alfredo so the comic genius that he is thought of Juan (One) Alfredo – Alfredo’s first. For our second son, he threatened to name him Two Alfredo if I didn’t come up with another name.

 

But Juan or John turned out to be meaningful in the light of today’s gospel. I was entrusted to a “John” when God took back my husband. As a solo parent now in my “graceful” years, my sons are the ones who lovingly sustain me just as John took care of Mother Mary. And with my younger son abroad, Jaffy is the one who helps me with my daily burdens. Blessed be me.

 

Prayer for Jaffy: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26

Pray Like a Child

 

 

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” - Matthew 18:3 NIV

 

Today, on the Memorial of the Guardian Angels, allow me to share the reflection I wrote for Didache. I am including my Angel Orchids painting which I made as another tribute to our family’s Guardian Angels. This was inspired by Radyo Katipunan’s Keeping the Faith flower arrangement for the mass on September 21, 2023. The arrangement was of white orchids with barbed wire to commemorate the declaration of Martial Law. I incorporated Angel Orchids to remind me that no matter what barbed wires are looped around our lives, our Guardian Angels are always around to guide us through these difficult times.

 

Below is my unedited Didache reflection:

 

Praying is part of my daily habit but sometimes I’d fall into formulaic prayers. Once, I asked, “How can I deepen it?” God answered this through my writing assignment for Secret Shares.

 

In her youth, our interviewee asked her newfound community friends, “How do I pray?” Through their guidance and her own openness to God, she developed a way of praying that was child-like and candid. Her prayer attitude towards God reminded me of a photo I saw of the child Jesus looking up at St. Joseph with so much love and trust for a parent and St. Joseph looking down at Him with loving indulgence.

 

This was what I pictured when our interviewee described the way she prays. It was with this father-child dynamics that God talked her through the break-up of her month-old marriage, led her to migrate abroad, and assured her of her healing from a dreaded disease.

 

Still needing more insight for myself, I kept asking, “How do I pray?”. I was led to read what Jesus said to St. Faustina in their Divine Mercy conversations: “Talk to me simply, as a friend to a friend.”

Leftover Sharons

 

“And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full.” – Matthew 14:20

 

In The Feast app, the reflection question for today’s reading was: “Why do you think there was more food left over after the feeding of the crowd?” In my quiet time after my usual morning prayers, I was intrigued by this question. It was not something that is usually highlighted in the story about the Feeding of the 5000.

 

I was clueless. I couldn’t figure out why the Lord would multiply more than what was needed. I wondered what they did with the leftovers. The bible didn’t say.

 

Then I had a funny thought. If the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes happened in the Philippines, I know what will happen to the leftovers. They would immediately be “sharon”-ed, all twelve baskets of them.

 

Last year, at a family party, I was amused when my sister-in-law said she just found out what “sharon” meant. She said this when I asked for some plastic tubs to pack food for Papa and my son who were left at home. For those who are still clueless about what “sharon” means, it’s a term for wrapping leftover food from parties. It was coined from the line “balutin mo ako" from the hit single “Bituing Walang Ningning” sung by Sharon Cuneta.

 

Then it hit me. Maybe that’s why there were leftovers. Maybe it was so people can take some for their journey back home. After all, people had come from far away to follow Jesus to that deserted place. Maybe they also took some home to the families they left behind – not just to feed them but to share the miracle.  

 

Knowing that our God is a God of abundance and overflowing grace, the twelve baskets of leftovers made more sense to me. It’s comforting to know that when we are in need, God can and will give us more than we ask for or imagine.

 

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think...” – Ephesians 3:20

Guardian Angels Among Us

 

Confederate Rose: A Tribute to Our Guardian Angels

“The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and delivers them.” – Psalm 34:7

 

Several weeks ago, my 93-year-old father had a fall which, for someone his age, could’ve have been grave or even fatal. But that day, I firmly believe our guardian angels intervened.

 

My elder son Jaffy and I made plans to take Papa out so he can exercise. Jaffy suggested for us to walk along the streets near our house. We would then walk back home to get the car and head off to our favorite coffee shop for breakfast.

 

But I had been experiencing pain on my foot on and off, so I suggested we walk in our village park instead so I can sit on the benches if my foot acts up. Besides, it was almost Holy Week and the Stations of the Cross were set up in the park. Papa and I can meander along the path and reflect while Jaffy takes a brisker walk around. That was my plan.

 

But Papa had walked just several steps from the car into the park when he declared he was tired. Jaffy decided to just push him in his rollator while I take my walk. I hadn’t gone far when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Papa being thrown from his rollator! The wheel had hit a crack in the cemented walkway and his rollator folded hurling him headlong on the path.

 

Checking on his condition, I immediately envisioned our guardian angels cushioning his fall, gently setting him down on the ground and preventing him from hitting the cement. What else could it have been aside from divine intervention? Papa had no concussion, no broken bones, just some bruises, a few minor cuts, and shallow gashes on his knees. Of course, we had quite a scare and he looked banged-up for a couple of weeks but all in all, we felt so blessed and protected.

 

By coincidence, or I’d rather call it God-incidence, I had just started a painting as a tribute to our guardian angels. I have a small booklet (Prayers to My Guardian Angel) under my pillow which I include in my morning prayers. With it I pray not only to my angel but also to my children’s as well as the whole family’s guardians. Since my children were small there have been quite a number of times, as a solo mom, I was made aware of their guidance and protection. Thus my special connection to them.

Then, several Sundays ago, a guest priest spoke to the congregation about guardian angels. It inspired me to paint angels in a flower as a tribute to our heavenly friends. I feel Papa’s being saved from great harm in the park was them saying, “Yes, we’re always here. You’re welcome.”

 

Holyween: Be-a-Saint March

“…because God tested them and found them worthy to be with him.”

– Wisdom 3:4-5

 

To counter the pagan influence of Halloween, our church invited children to dress up as their favorite saints. After the children’s mass, they paraded and were given treats along the route. No ghoulish costumes. No glorification of evil. Our parish priest encouraged the children to think about what is admirable in the saints they chose. It is perhaps in the hope that they will emulate these saints’ traits.

Looking at the photos posted by the parish (just check these out in the Our Lady of Fatima Parish’s FB page as I didn’t have time to get permission to repost) there were a lot of children who participated. I hope this catches on, after all, everyone is encouraged to be a saint.

I’m sure a lot of you like me will turn beet red and say, “What? Me, a saint? I sin too much to be one. I’ll never be a saint.” But I came across this quote, actually several variations of them as they were attributed to different people like Robert Louis Stevenson, St. Teresa of Calcutta, Nelson Mandela, and St. Josemaria Escriva:

 

“A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.”

 

So, let’s keep trying, one baby step at a time. Let’s think of it as a marathon march, not a 100-meter dash.

There are some steps we can do when we backslide or stray from the path. Let’s try this together as I’m sure failure to be holy will happen to me and to you:

• Accept that there are days when you can’t be as good as you should be.
• But remember what caused you to be unholy and resolve to do better.
• Try again. If we fail today, there’s always tomorrow.
• When you feel the itch to do wrong, breathe, pause, and think WWJD (What Would Jesus Do).

It’s hard I know! I’ve failed many (x 100) times but, again, let’s keep trying. And if we do make it to sainthood, what do you think you’ll be the patron saint of? I’ll probably be the patron saint of Clueless Solo Moms or Young Once Struggling to be Fit and Wrinkle-free.

Belated Happy Holyween! 

P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens

 

“…he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.”

– Luke 11:8

You know that proverb “The squeaky wheel gets the grease”? Well, that’s how I am with the Lord sometimes. When I am on frustration overload due to an oft-repeated unanswered prayer, or super-stressed because of a problem that needs an immediate solution or going through a particularly painful episode with some ailment or other, I turn into a squeaky wheel. I picture myself as a terrible toddler throwing a tantrum in front of the Lord. “Thy will be done” gets thrown out of the window. Do you do that sometimes?

In yesterday’s mass, Fr. James Gascon, SJ, had these elements to impart about prayer and persistence:

"The Gospel speaks about the person who prays. The Lord reminds them to be persistent. Sa kakulitan they get what they get. Jesus reminds His disciples to never give up.

It is a reminder to whom we pray – the father is a good father who will give us whatever we ask in persistence. However, the difficult question is: if the father knows everything why do we have to keep asking/repeating?

 The Lord gives not what we ask for but what is best for us. More than that God will give the Holy Spirit – “How much more will the Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask.” (Luke 11:13) The fruit of prayer is not that we get what we want or need but we are given the power to discern. When we keep praying and praying, we get enlightened and know the difference between a want and a need. That is what God gives us, the gift of discernment – a powerful tool that not only helps us distinguish good from bad but want from need. And most importantly, the Holy Spirit enlightens us that God may have already answered our prayer not the way we want but the way God makes us good. It helps us not to just distinguish but listen. When we do, we ourselves become the instrument to make our prayer a reality. The end of discernment is action."

So, pray until something happens. What “happens” may not always be what we want but what we need. It may be a need for us to act on our problem.

OR, as has happened in my case several times, the Lord gives in to my kakulitan. I remember my LG head Myrna once told me in our chat, “Help me pray. Malakas ka naman kay Lord.” I replied, “Makulit lang.”

So, whatever may be the fruit of our prayers, let’s persist because God will give the best.

BTB (Behind the Blog)

 

“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?”- 1 Thessalonians 3:9

 

If there’s such a thing as BTS (sorry faneys, not the Korean boy band but Behind the Scene), I have today a BTB (Behind the Blog). Last week, my reflection was “Sharing Crosses”. They were general thoughts based on the homily that struck me that day. Little did I know that the very next day, as I posted it, I would have a specific story to tell of my cross being shared.

 

Last week, covid hit my family, all three of us at home. It would not have been as scary as at the start of the pandemic because as my doctor-cousin said, “It’s more like the flu now. BUT (and there’s the rub) it could still be fatal for people whose health is compromised like Papa.” My 92-year-old father was the last in the family to be hit. My son and I were barely recuperating when he tested positive. It was panic time! We need a prescription for the anti-viral medicine as my cousin is US-based. We need to source the medicine as it is not readily available. Plus none of us could go out to buy it as we were still sick. I shared my cross and asked for prayers.

 

And the Lord moved right away! My prayer group head jumped in to help by finding a doctor to write the prescription. She even tried to find other doctors to monitor Papa. A doctor who serves at The Feast wrote the prescription and even offered a few pieces of the needed medicine she had left over from her own bout with covid. And my kababata/distant cousin found a source for the medicine and delivered it right to our gate.

 

Not only that, but we were also immediately lifted up in prayer by my bff/cousin, my Mother Caring Group/LG, my EBLG, and HIP friends. What an abundance of friends to share my cross!

 

Like I told them, “I thank God for you.”

 

Let me end this BTB by repeating my message last week: Crosses are meant to be shared.

 

Oh and by the way, by God’s grace, Papa had the mildest of symptoms as he was the only one who did not have fever. And our whole household is now negative including Papa’s yaya. That was God working Behind The Scene.