You Are Mine

 

Lenten Reflection #3

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1

Abstinence. Wikipedia defines it as “giving up certain luxuries in imitation of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice during his journey into the desert for 40 days.”

After watching the roundtable discussion about the story I assigned myself to watch today*, I realized why we need to practice abstinence especially during Lent. As we live in this material world, we become addicted or attached to things. We end up being “owned” by them. They dictate the use of our time and resources. Worse, they threaten our wellbeing and relationships. It may not be major, like addiction to alcohol and drugs and attachment to wealth and power. It can be a host of seemingly innocuous things. Say “Aray!” if this hits you:

You deny yourself by eating tuyo and kamatis but will die if you can’t drink from that Venti coffee cup with a green siren.

You have labelled your chocolates “Vitamin C” and take a regular dose for your wellbeing. (Aray!)

You binge watch Korean novelas for 3 straight days without sleep.

You feel naked without your expensive designer bag (original, not Class A from Divisoria).

You’re awake till two in the morning because you want to reach the next level (and the next, and the next…) of your favorite mobile game. (Aray! again)

Ø        > Insert your own list here if you haven’t said “Aray!”

Many times, our attachments make us forget what’s important. It can even lead to illness of body and spirit. I was struck by what the rabbi, the priest and the pastor (no this is not the beginning of a joke) said in the roundtable discussions: “There are different ways evil can try to insert itself into one’s life. When God is missing, a vacuum is created which results in sickness. The lack of wholeness is an opportunity for things that are not of God to come in.”

In the homily for today’s mass, the priest also said that Lent is not just about self-denial. It is also about self-knowledge. It is knowing your identity, your name. Is it Starbucks, Lindt, Soong Ngit (sorry I don’t watch KDrama), Prada, Candy Crush?

So, this Lent, abstain from things that have “owned” you. Let Jesus call you “Mine”.

References:      *The Chosen Season 1 Episode 1 – “I Have Called You By Name”

                        The Chosen S1E1 Bible Roundtable

                      Mass Homily for today – Fr. Eric Salazar: “Self-Knowledge”

One of Us

 

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…” – John 1:14

This morning, in my conversation with Jesus, the interviewer in me kicked in. My question for Him was: What was it like for you, fully God, to come into this earth and be fully human? How does your being human affect us? (Feeling KMag writer again 😉)

Jesus came from a perfect place into a perfectly messy place (a stable with animal manure Joseph had to shovel out*). Being fully human, He will not be turned off by the mess you have made of your life. Do not be ashamed to go to Him. He has lived through mess, brokenness and want. After all…

“He was one of us for a time.” – Mother Mary (from The Chosen’s Special Episode – “The Messengers”)

You lost your job in the pandemic and the only bulalo you can afford now comes in instant noodle cups? Jesus felt hunger too.

“Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.” – Matthew 21:18

You are in constant pain because of a dreaded disease. Jesus also felt pain as he was scourged and crowned with thorns.

“Then Pilate ordered that Jesus be scourged. The soldiers twisted together some thorns into a crown and placed it on his head.” – John 19:1-2

You experienced rejection and betrayal? Sumakabilang bahay ang jowa mo? Your business partner ran off with the company funds? Jesus had Peter and Judas.

His being fully human assures us that He understands where we are coming from.

Today as we ponder on the meaning of Lent, let us remember that because of His fully human death, His being Fully God was proven at the Resurrection.

References:      *The Chosen’s Special Episode – “The Messengers”

Grafted’s “The Messengers” – Messianic Reaction to the Birth of Yeshua

Gcu.edu’s article: Dear Theophilus: Is Jesus fully God and Fully Human?

Mass Homily for today – Fr. Jason Laguerta: “Rebuild”; What is Lent?

His Story: People Must Know

 

Lenten Reflection #1

“When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child.”  - Luke 2:17

On Ash Wednesday I tried to think of how I can observe the Lenten season in a more meaningful way. The priest reminded us how in his homily and I mentally ticked them off with side comments:

·        Fasting – I have gastritis issues and I’m afraid this might trigger it. Besides I’m already excused due to my age

·        Abstinence – this I can do despite the age excuse: no-meat Fridays, no decadent sweets, no watching my favorite detective show and Netflix

·        Alms giving – check

·        Sacrifice – check

But early this morning during my prayer time, I felt the above just weren’t enough as I had been doing them year in and year out. I remembered that praying is not all about me asking for God’s mercies (which I admit is what usually makes up my morning prayer), but a conversation with Him, a heart-to-heart with a friend. So, I dispensed with my usual litany and asked Jesus how He was this morning, what did He do yesterday.  It felt funny at first because I really didn’t know what answer to expect. Would he say something like, “Oh, I’m kinda sad. I had to comfort the earthquake victims in Turkey.” Or “I shielded Ukraine from Russian missiles.” Or something like that.

Then, He reminded me about what friends do when they talk. They tell each other their life stories. Old friends already know each other’s life stories but many times they get to know each other more in the re-telling. Or sometimes, foggy memories just get cleared up and you remember why you connect to this person that way, why you love this friend.

That led to my Lenten Journey plan: watch His Story and reflect on bible verses. I planned to keep this a personal journey but the story I watched for today was The Chosen’s Special Episode – “The Shepherd”. It was about the shepherd who received the message of the angel about the birth of Jesus. The tagline of the story was, “People must know.” And so, I must tell people about my journey.

It’s three days into the Lenten season so I won’t be able to complete the 40 days (or God just might find a way to help me do that) but I pray it will still be a meaningful journey of getting to know my friend Jesus more. And by writing about it, pave the way for more people know Him better. To those reading this blog, please pray I will be able to complete the journey. Then join me in telling His Story.

People must know: You can talk to Jesus like a friend.

Richer

 

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” - 2 Corinthians 9:7

In my solo parent journey, I went through extremely difficult financial straits especially when my children were still in school. In my book, The Happy Solo Kit (Tools and Supplies You Need to Survive Solo Parenting without Losing Your Marbles), I talked about how I would literally have chest pains every time I did my monthly budget. Hard though those times were, I felt grateful for it was a time of learning. God was teaching me how to manage with less so that I can do better when He gives me more. Most importantly, He taught me to prioritize giving back to Him before allocating for our family’s needs and wants.

When I finally “graduated” from that school of hard knocks, He blessed me big time. I promised to give Him a tenth of that windfall. I called that my “Palpitation to Donation” journey.

I did tithe but lost track and probably did not give the full amount intended. I felt I failed to keep my promise to the full. I was disappointed with myself.

This year, God blessed me again. It was a much smaller amount, not even a tenth of what I had gotten before. But this time I was more diligent with my tithing – Excel-filed and everything. It was so fulfilling every time I typed “remitted” across the allocation for each recipient. My giving back to God was more focused and I put more heart into it. I felt so much richer and fulfilled when I completed the list.

My realization: It is not the amount of wealth you dispense but how much of your heart you give that makes you richer in God’s eyes.

Self-Deception

 

Gospel acclamation: The word of God is living and effective, able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.

Social media can be deceptive. It is not only used by powerful, monied people to distort truth and history but unwittingly by people who want to present a better picture of their lives.

We usually post photos of the good things that happen to us. Pictures that elicit “Wow!” and “Sanaol” comments. But sometimes, the photo does not paint the whole picture.

There’s that vacation photo in a magical land that was taken right after a big family fight.

There’s that happy couple smiling at each other lovingly who are on the verge of a separation.

There’s that group beaming at the camera whose two members are not on speaking terms.

There’s that lovely, elegant lady posing with friends with no trace she can’t get around without their assistance because of her illness.

In a recent homily, Fr. Dave Concepcion said, “The bigger sin is not when you lie to others but when you lie to yourself.” His message led me to this reflection - many times, we deceive others because we want to deceive ourselves.

It is human nature to want to show our best to other people. And sharing our joys and our highs is inspiring. After all, who wants to see depressing things, right?

But I pray that after all those happy photos with not-so-happy backstories are posted, we can look inwards, accept the reality of our lives, and surrender them to God.

After all, it is God’s nature to heal the heart that acknowledges the need for His mercy. But He can only do that when we stop deceiving ourselves. Remember, God sees the truth in our hearts.

“I saw you.” – John 1:50

Eyes on Your Plate (Antidotes for Frustration and Envy)

We have what we call in the family “Ubusan ng Tira” (Finishing Leftover) Days. So as not to waste food, we finish leftovers before cooking a fresh batch of viands. Sometimes, we have a smorgasbord because each viand is not enough for the whole family. So, we each pick a leftover to finish.

This morning’s leftovers were 2 huge suman latik, arroz caldo just enough for 1 full serving and several pieces of boiled saba. Since my niece had eaten some saba and my son opted for a suman, Papa and I were left with 1 suman and the arroz caldo. I asked Papa which he preferred: suman and saba or the arroz caldo. He chose the first option and I put that on his plate. He was contentedly eating his suman and was already halfway done with it when I began to ladle a little of the arroz caldo into a bowl. He then asked which is easier to eat. I said they were both made from glutinous rice so it’s just the same, they were just cooked differently. Papa has developed this habit of looking beyond his plate because since he had a stroke, there were some foods we don’t give him. We call it his “Inggit blues” as he would always ask what it was we were eating.

But this time, I did ask him which he preferred. Nevertheless, his envy factor kicked in when he saw me get the arroz caldo. Then he stopped eating his suman. When I told him to finish it because it will be wasteful if he didn’t, I knew it was “sintir” when he answered, “Then don’t feed me anymore.” “Sintir” is a term we have in our hometown Mauban that means being in a snit. He was like a sulking child but claimed he was not feeling well. He eventually did get out of his snit when my niece and I called him out for it.

While I was doing my morning walk around the house, he asked for his walker so he can do his own rounds thus debunking his “not feeling well” claim. The good thing was he got himself out of his funk by being grateful. He began reciting his blessings: many of his friends can no longer walk while he still can, people younger than him need to be fed whereas he can eat by himself and some other advantages he has. Of course, my niece and I chimed in with other things he should be grateful for.

This incident just shows that when we focus on what others have instead of the blessings we already have, we get frustrated. We think others have it better and lose appreciation for what we have been gifted with. But when we refocus on our own blessings, envy will fly out the window.

Gratitude and Trust. Envy and Frustration are no match for them.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” – Psalm 28:7

He’s Got Your Back

Yesterday was my husband’s death anniversary. It’s been 35 years. How did I survive especially those years as a very young widow? (Warning: computing my age causes split ends to your eyelashes. ;) And I did say very young.)

It was because my father always had my back – both my earthly and divine fathers.

“The most vivid image I have of my support system was when my boys were toddlers. We got home from a whole-day outing, and they had fallen asleep in the car. When I was going to carry one of them inside the house, the other woke up and cried, not wanting to be left behind. He wanted me, not my dad to carry him. The one I was carrying woke up too and wanted the same thing. “Only Mommy will carry.” So, I had to carry both of them, one on each arm. As I was mounting the stairs to our room, Papa walked behind me with his hands propping my back so I wouldn’t topple over. He is the perfect example of a solo parent’s navigational aid – a physical support and emotional guide.”  (From Chapter 11 of my book The Happy Solo Kit: Tools and Supplies You Need to Survive Solo Parenting without Losing Your Marbles)

Worry is a solo parent’s constant companion, a pesky one who will not leave you alone. Childhood illnesses. Budget that barely reaches the next payday. House maintenance like part of our roof flying off in a storm. Car problems I couldn’t figure out. And a thousand and one other things a solo mom faces alone.

Over the course of 35 years, God has dulled my worry meter by showing me He is always there when I call. Of course, I never fail to remind Him it wouldn’t be so hard if He had not taken Dodo away. I’m bratty that way. It’s a good thing He has a sense of humor and ever ready with His saving graces. Healing. Financial windfalls in the nick of time. Sending people who will help with the house and the car and the thousand and one things that plagued this solo mom.

One of the things that helped me to transform from that clueless young widow to a HIP (Hero Independent Parent as we call our Solo Parents Ministry at the Feast Alabang) is the knowledge that my Father God takes care of my tomorrows.

Happy Father’s Day to both of you!